Good News November 2022
As parents we often have to talk about difficult topics: death, cancer, shootings, murder, hate,
bullying. Here is a really tough one—race and racism. The reason this conversation is important is because “real progress toward an anti-racist society requires fostering the development of anti-racism within children…” (Fostering Anti-Racism in White Children and Youth Development Within Contexts, American Psychologist, May-June 2022, 7(4), 497-509). But how do we as individual parents create an anti-racist society? Let’s start with two understandings:
- Race is a social construct not a concrete identifier. It is based on color of skin, hair texture,
social norms and laws. In the 1900s, Arab, Jewish, Irish and Italians were not considered
“White”. In the 2020 US Census, White includes those who identify as from Europe, North
Africa and the Middle East. So what “race” is shifts over time. - Unlike children of color (e.g., Black, Latinx) White children are less likely to include their
race as a part of their identity. Rather, White children do not list their Whiteness as one of
the top three social identifies whereas, 35% of children of color as young as preschoolers list
race as a leading social identifier.
Further, two narratives that uphold racial inequality in the US include: 1. White supremacy; White
people as the top of the racial hierarchy and Whiteness as superior; and, 2. Colorblindness; the idea that race does not matter. Talking with children, especially White children about their Whiteness as part of their identity is a first step toward educating the next generation. Next the influence of race in personal and social influence are important; this means talking about race openly in interpersonal interactions. As parents we have conversations about how boys and girls might be different (or the same) in terms of things they like to do, how they play. Humans tend to like those people who are like them. This is a preference for the “ingroup.” At young ages, children often notice differences in skin color, hair, hair texture; parents can point out that this is a difference but just like being tall or short or having red hair, one is not “better” than the other, just different.
As children move into late elementary and middle school, conversations about racial stereotypes
and prejudices are important. Internalizing a positive identity that includes race and a commitment to anti-racism at the individual level are important to the future break-down of racial inequities. Children can be encouraged to speak out against a racial slur or racial joke, simplying tell the person, “Hey, that is not cool. Don’t say that about another person.” This is just like teaching your child to defend someone who is being bullied for a speech impediment, a cleft lip or severe ADHD.
The level of collective action involves feeling empowered to not only work at the individual level
but also at the collective level. High school and college age kids can be encouraged to discuss race and racial inequity, join clubs that discuss race or become involved in anti-racism efforts. The one thing every parent can do is to understand and challenge racism within their own environment.
Race and racism are complex and difficult topics in America. Understanding the conversation and encouraging discussion within families, schools and communities can lead to increased respect, honesty and safety in this wonderfully diverse country we call home